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Wednesday windup – 9th March 2017

Posted by jackiepope on March 10, 2017

Wednesday Wind Up…

This is a week of pure madness and chaos… plus I am informed it is International Women’s Day; and it is the anniversary of my breast cancer diagnosis – three years ago today.

Next week is my anniversary of returning to New Zealand – and funny enough I fly back home exactly 6 years to the day; and I will be at Mind Body Soul 10 years to the day that I spoke there, and made the decision to have an adventure in Australia.

Our lives are all about cycles, patterns, symbols, talismans. You see 11:11; things happen on the same dates…. For me this is a major cycle closing off. It happened 10 years ago when I closed off the cycle of The Purple Shoes as I call it. I am not sure what to call this cycle.

I was asked the other week how I was after this breast cancer thing, and had I written a book about it yet. That is one thing I do not seem to be able to do. It just does not feel worthy of a book. As I said to this person – I was sick, and now I am not sick. That I feel amazing, and ready to rumble. She was a little non plussed…. and felt I should share my bravery… share some inspiration with others.

I got a little bit pissed off; for the last time (seeing as though we are ending this cycle of the ‘ripped tit’) I was not brave. There is no bravery in cancer; being brave indicates a choice – you can choose to be brave or you can choose to be a coward. I had no choice. There it was 7cms of Stage I maybe 2 (they could not decide) aggressive cancer – no choice at all. Here you go luv, into hospital… oh and while we are at it let’s pray as you stick needles in my boob the day before the operation… yes you will all remember that from my Monday Muse.

Waking up from an anaesthetic to see my lovely daughter and her partner – I think I told her to go home and have shag – it relaxes you. Waking up in the morning needing to pee; the curtains were closed, there was nobody – I mean nobody at all. I lay for what seemed hours, it would be one of the loneliest times.

Oh yes – and…. the woman with 8 weeks worth of poo backed up in the bed next door! So funny.

Ending up with an infection, with Mr Sucky, and 7 days in hospital again – amazing doctors, and nurses; my fabulous family, tramadol. Being wheeled to xray for an ultra sound, and the young man in the pink shirt telling me to put the ‘stick’ up inside… really? I had a fucking machine buzzing away sucking the shit out of me; I was high as a kite; I couldn’t find my vagina let alone stick something in it. I told him this is what he was paid for – do the job. He did. I did not have a happy ending however… no seriously they found a cyst – which… oh we can whip that out before you do chemo! Seriously!

I was not brave…. I had no choice. I wore high heels and make up to each infusion – because Chanel and Winston Churchill would have done that. I met wonderful people – Kevin Berkhan, Dagma; beautiful nurses and fab doctors. I made a cancer volunteer cry; and one particularly bad day I was rude to a nurse (I was mortified – she assured me it was ok… I still to this day am ashamed of myself).

I was not brave… I was peevish, bald, miserable and I binge watched Boston Legal to distract myself. Thank the Goddess for Black Sails, Game of Thrones and dear friends who rescued me when I fell down; but I was not brave, I had no choice, I had to get back up.

Of course it could not just be straight chemo – nooooo we had to have a reaction… a bad one. I felt like a leper; my skin came off – it did not peel off, or flake – it came off! Some women would pay a fortune for a chemical peel, and I must admit my skin is still amazing! I put up with being asked to take my beanie off by security at DSW – and to take the scarf off my face. The Manager saw what was happening and told the security guard to have some kind of empathy. Anyway – I was not brave.

I was a coward, because I could not face doing Radiotherapy – so I said no thank you. I was a coward because I could have been stronger, kinder and nicer to the people around me.

I was not brave. There was no choice. I went through it; the pain was not so bad – I loved my tramadol. The indignities visited upon me were the worst – to be vulnerable, and exposed. There is nowhere to hide in cancer. Nowhere.

The cycle truly ends next week. There will be no book (my blog is on my website under Monday Muse, and that documents most of it as it happened); there will be no inspiration from me; no motivation.

I had a tumour. It is gone. End of. Except for side effects…. but these are no worse than a friend’s arthritis, another friend’s fibromyalgia – in fact my side effects are nowhere near as life limiting as these friend’s conditions.

I was not brave. I had no choice.

Monday Muse 5th December 2016

Posted by jackiepope on December 6, 2016

MONDAY MUSE * choke, shock, horror…

Yes, a Monday Muse and you might even get Tuesday Tarot tomorrow!!! What is the world coming to? It seems I have got my shit together finally; although I don’t really think I ever truly have my shit together.

There are those wonderful days when I think I have – you know those days when you look around and you have done everything on your list; the kids are sorted, partner is sorted; you can sit down for a glass of wine with a trash movie; you don’t have to share your chocolate, and all in the house is quiet.

And then it happens…. that tiny whisp of guilt. Just as you raise the glass to your lips you spy some washing to be folded… damn! Part of you wants to fold it, so you can be guilt free; the other part of you says… it can wait.

Then you dip into the chocolate box; and there is a plaintive call from the bedroom… mummmmmeeeeee! You think to yourself that a good mother would dance up the stairs, sit on the bed and sort out whatever ails your child… but then you are not a good mother; well at least I wasn’t – instead you yell up the stairs ‘unless you are bleeding, dead or dying don’t interrupt me’.

The world goes silent. You settle back to a juicy scene, rewind for a couple of seconds… yes there it is; and there is a massive roar from the garden shed. Now a good partner would jump up and run down the garden to attend to her partner.

But then you are not a good partner; and you figure that you will give it five minutes and if he is really hurt you can intercept him crawling up the garden path; or discover him face down in the shed.

You can hear some movement in the shed, he is alive, this is a good thing; now back to the wine and movie.

The dog decides it wants to play, and sits there with that pathetic ‘Im so cute, how can you resist me?’ ooops sorry that is the husband!

The cat knows what you need, and curls up on your knee and purrs – the cat can stay, until it digs it’s claws into your leg, and then it is unceremoniously shoved off the couch.

We can never as women, actually have totally ‘me time’. Because there is always someone or something that commands your attention.

I could say something revolutionary like… take time for yourselves ladies; sit down and be counted. Your partners, children are perfectly capable and independent (really?); and the dog can wait to play. I could say something cool, inspirational and motivational like.. ‘Take that time woman! Take what is yours!’

But I won’t say anything. Because we all know that it is never going to happen. The only true ‘me time’ is in a toilet, in a motel room, whilst traveling on your own and the mobile is in the bedroom.

Or in the toilet cubicle of Dressmart, or a mall – you know the end cubicle – it is usually the cleanest.

I have come to recognize in life, there is no such thing as ‘me time’; the best you can hope for is ‘me moments’, and ten minutes playing candy crush in the toilets at Sylvia Park – yes that end cubicle… it’s me.


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Jackie Pope * The Wyrdsisters * *

Monday Muse on Thursday 17 November 2016

Posted by jackiepope on November 18, 2016

Good morning punters, panters, flatulators, dancers, artists and generally fabulous people…

I have not done a Monday Muse for a very long time, and of course it is not Monday – it is Thursday, but really I don’t care.

‘I really don’t care’. Is an interesting statement isn’t it? It can be interpreted in so many ways…

I really don’t care …. because I am grumpy and don’t want to care
I really don’t care … about your feelings, and don’t let the door hit you on the way out.
I really don’t care … because you have pissed me off, and I don’t love you anymore.
I really don’t care … because you have been complaining for weeks and weeks, and you still haven’t done anything about your life.
I really don’t care … because there is nothing more I can do.
I really don’t care … because no matter what I do – it doesn’t make a difference – in politics, in love, in my work, in my life.
I really don’t care … about what I am supposed to do today because the day is so amazing, the sun is beautiful, the air is fizzing, and I have four furbabies to play with…

My point?

Make sure that when you say ‘I don’t care’ that you make it clear…

I don’t really care – in this moment, tomorrow I will be in a better mood.
I really don’t care’ – because you have pissed me off and I am waiting for an apology.
I really don’t care – because I have given you advice, let you cry on my shoulder (all over my new white linen dress) and still you have done nothing.
I really don’t care – because I have done everything, and it never seems to be enough.
I really don’t care – because I don’t realize that the smallest thing I do makes a difference.
I really don’t care .. because if I play in the sun, suck up the fresh air, play with the furbabies I will be in 7th heaven.

So my challenge for you today – after this pointless diatribe; and if you have got this far and are saying “Really Jackie? Really?” – I don’t care; the challenge is – post one thing you really don’t care about today…

I’ll start – today I don’t care about time…

Monday Muse March… umm 13th? or is it the 14th?

Posted by jackiepope on March 14, 2016
I think a Monday Muse is in order….
I went to the markets on Saturday morning, and an amazing Market I must say. The food is incredible, you would just come to Kerikeri for the weekend to go to that market – one of the highlights of my stay up here. Pies, bread, art …
There were some glass artists there, and of course I squealed with delight and asked the first gentleman if he rented out studio space… he was most charming and said he was an individual artist and did not have a large studio – just a small space on the porch. We had a wonderful conversation about our love of glass, and I moved on.
After coffee, strawberry tart, drooling over citrine steampunk pendants, looking at the most amazing fine wool and silk scarves and pretty much in 7th heaven I came across another art glass stall. Well, the pair of them sat there and did not acknowledge or engage me at all; I asked the same question as I did of the other glass artist and was shut down from any conversation or discussion with a flat NO. No smile, no connection, no exchange of artistic energy, no showing off the work with pride. I did see a pair of earrings I really wanted, but you know, I didn’t buy them. The moment was spoiled. In fact I went back and purchased a pair of earrings from the other gentleman.
What am I musing on here? I think a couple of things… in my friends list on this facebook page alone there are many of you who are in business for yourselves in some form or other. I know very well that if I rock up to Belinda Tuki @The Honest Food Company she is going to engage, inspire and let me know how much she loves her product; Sharon Killen a very sharp businesswoman who loves what she does and delivers – @Getapartybus and wedding cars – efficient, good service, and loves what she does – it shows.Timeless Images and Photographers Inc – Lisa Harrington runs these businesses with a passion, and her work is outstanding.
Auntie Briar with her dog treats, blankets and accessories; Rosanna Marks from Aroha Healing, Angie Maharaja from Shaniks are others who do what they do with pure love.
That is what it is all about, not just making some glass placemats, and importing lampwork earrings, sitting and looking as you don’t want anyone to approach – it is about us showing people that we love our work, that when you connect with one of us – it is not a ‘manufactured’ product, it is us. Yes, there is a product or a service. But you are getting our energy, our essence, and each time we engage with someone it is unique.
I know that couple did not do well, and maybe they were having a bad day – and maybe on some other day they may be en pointe and engaging. The thing is you cannot have a bad day in business. You cannot show the world a sad face. If you are not happy then don’t show up. Better a blank space for a day, than a miserable face. I remember one day coming into St Kevins arcade having had my heart absolutely broken by some random NZ Dating person – if I recall he said we would go out for my birthday, and he never turned up. Instead I got a text from his wife apologising but that he always does this. That Monday I was gutted. I walked in the shop and shut the door.
I realized in that moment that if I stayed for the day I would not be bringing happiness or healing to people; I would be lost in my own wallowy energy, and so I shut up shop and went home via McDonalds and the supermarket, and I wallowed the whole day.
By evening I was so fed up and angry with myself that I got dressed up, took myself off to a nice dinner. Came home and did a shamanic journey. Tuesday morning I was raring to go, and I had one of my best days ever in that shop; amazing people, readings, laughter, and money in the cash box. I knew I had made the right decision.
You will not lose money by having a day off if you are not 100%, better that than lose customers because you were a bit short with them, or could not deliver. In my world in particular you cannot be miserable. Of course I have been from time to time, but I am very aware that when you walk into my world it is all about you. And I am not being facetious – I am there for you in that moment; no matter how I feel, no matter what is going on in my life, my focus is to give you what you need in that moment. And yes, I am not perfect and I have sometimes let my personal life creep into the magical. We are but human. But I try not to.
On Facebook I try not to be negative. Especially as I am a business. You have to be so careful of your reputation (yes they call it ‘brand’ now I know); you have to be very thoughtful as to what you write. And I am sure you are all laughing your heads off because I write exactly what I think – well yes that is true, but if you look closely very rarely do I criticize people directly; and certainly not clients, and if I do mention someone – they are anonymous and usually know I am writing about them in advance.
I was browsing facebook the other day for a particular service that I needed, and came across a page that appealed until I read the latest post ‘where are you all? You said if I set up the business you would support me?’ and then there were a couple of expletives – and I felt like messaging her and saying – ‘well love, you just killed your business straight away’.
We in business all have down time when people don’t show up, or come in their hoards, but none of us (well my friends anyway) criticize our clients in such a way online, you cannot afford to do that. If the clients are not coming, then you look at what you are doing. It is that simple. It is not flash marketing, or clever campaigns, it is all very simple – Give the customer what they want; and give it to them with passion, courtesy and respect. And you cannot lose.
And it cannot always be about money. I very often get asked why I do Tarot Tuesday and do not charge for it; the reason is simple, I want to give back to my clients in some small way. The way to do that is Tuesday Tarot and creating some different specials at a good price.
I have more to say – but I have run out of coffee, and you are probably bored shitless.
Anyway in closing I would love every one of you who reads this (even just the first and last paragraph) to post your business no matter what it is (or organization) – so that we can all see who you are, and know we are dealing with passionate people of like minds…
come on….
Don’t be shy – we are passionate people, who live in the most amazing place in the world. We can be and create anything we want… so share it… please.

Monday Muse 30th November 2015

Posted by jackiepope on November 30, 2015
Good morning girls, boys and those yet to make up their minds…
I have not Monday Mused for a while. Simply because well I am doing Tuesday Tarot, and I did not want you all to get sick of me popping up on your feeds with all my thoughts and opinions.
Today feels a wee bit different, I just told my daughter that this morning I do not feel like a chemo’d out old bag lady. I have on a dress!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes, a DRESS; and I blow dried my hair into a perfect pink and grey bob (thank you Angie Maharaj). I have on make up – which I always do. Even the worst C day I had to put on lipstick.
Today is a day I will write about in my journal, for a number of reasons, with exciting business things happening, friendships, family coming from overseas for Christmas, dogs and cats to look after. It really does not get better than this.
I look back and think of other fabulous days, and at the same time thinking about a post Philby Cuthers put up – about everyone being on their phones, taking selfies and missing the wider view, the wider picture. That camera lens is very narrow. I think back to before Mobile, and yes it is a fabulous tool, but it has stolen our soul. People laugh when I don’t like my picture taken – I tell them that each picture steals a piece of my soul – an North American Indian belief. But it is true, the mobile phone is stealing the soul out of your experiences. It captures a few words, a narrow image (Yes I know you have panning… but still come on!), and we all sit around phone in hand… looking at the latest selfie, or another motivational saying (I think I shall puke if I see any more of those), and you realise that nobody is talking to each other, no conversation, no laughter – except the isolated giggle at the screen in front of you, and then sharing it with everyone around the table… so they all look at their phones and giggle.
A Wyrdsister Challenge. Put the Bloody thing down! It is not a tracking device so you know where your friends and foe are at. Mind you it is handy if you don’t want to run into someone and you know they are the other side of town – sigh of relief.
It is not a substitute for conversation.
It is not a substitute for flirting, nor is a text relationship a real one! Truly if he or she cannot get off their ass and organise a date… yes a real date – dinner, wine, all the trimmings then it is not a romance!
It is not a babysitter – the television is being done out of its job. In my day we were warned about leaving your baby in front of the TV to watch Magic Roundabout… it was pure evil (very funny though and Elaine Towers liked Bongle or whatever his name was). And I agree, on long trips, or going out visiting somewhere the child doesn’t want to be, but has to go – it is a godsend to load a game or a movie. But every day? Every minute? And yes it is wonderful to keep tabs on them, to call them if you are late, them call you if they are late. Otherwise it should be in their pocket.
A mobile phone is a tool; a very pretty one, and I like dressing mine up both with covers and on the screen, I am the most techno addict there is. I have even crocheted over my usb charging wire to protect it.. and so I know it is mine. It is not a substitute… for a kiss, for a smile, to actually eat that dish WITH your friend. To share the view, and to play a game that is interaction with others.
Yes it has all been said before, so you can ignore it all. Because this little piece of writing will not change the world, and I know it. But it is good to vent. Now… in saying all of that… before phones recorded every moment I am sure we all have amazing days that we remember so clearly… one of my favourite memories is being out on a yacht with Elaine, in the Pacific and playing Dungeons and Dragons with paper, pen, books and dice! Yes old school. Eating tuna salad sandwiches (American style) and laughing at the dolphins. Elaine was not so amused at Dungeons and Dragons, but the dolphins stayed around for hours, so she was happy.
Now that is a memory that I will never forget. What is a memory you will never forget?
I have my food shopping list for Long Bay. I do not want to go shopping for two weeks, so there will be many packets of scotch fingers, Coke zero, potato chips and dip. Lots of cheese and other divine things. Plus my dear friends have a HUGE tv, and unlimited broadband I shall be in Dr Who heaven.
I will also be doing lots of work on new layouts and readings, now that I feel fabulous a whole year on from chemo, I feel as if life is really just starting. I can’t say – ‘this time last year’ any more. Because this is the last week I can say that. And that in itself is a miracle. So keep me busy please, I am working right through summer – and exploring more colourful email readings and recorded facebook readings – you know on messenger – speaking the interpretation. We will see.
Love you all. And this time last year I had amazing people around me, and I am so fortunate because I still have amazing people around me. Enough waffle from me….
Be good to each other