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Archive for May, 2014

Monday Muse 26th May 2014

Posted by jackiepope on May 26, 2014

Good morning everybody….

It’s not a good morning. It was while I was in bed; and it was until the District Nurse called. I feel like a child who has been deprived of a promised treat. Remember when we were little and if you were ‘good all day, and went to bed without a murmur, the next day you would get to go to the beach, or the park?’. Yesterday my fabulous, favourite district nurse (who made me a bra out of disposable knickers that is so comfortable, and who just made everything alright) told me that one whole day with less than 30ml fluid in my drainage pouch and I’d be free. She would take that alien sucker off me. The District Nurse phones this morning (Of course favourite nurse if off today) and asks… how much? I said woohooo 10ml, so come and take it out. OhhhNooo….no no no. She wants less than 40ml each day for two days, I am not to race around today (really I had planned to go shopping on the Bund in China, with a little supper in Mumbai, ending with champagne and Caviar in Minsk). I asked if I could shower today. Yesterday favourite nurse said to do just paws, claws and jaws…. let the wound site settle (I’m on antibiotics); ‘do you have a waterproof on?’ – no I don’t; What have you got? – ummm I think sort of a dressing a gauze pads that she gave me to change – because the stupid drain pouch that you won’t take out is leaking, and when I have a shower it has its own little whale song. No I didn’t say that… although I am not sure what I say these days – fortunately I can blame the anaesthetic… which is where we are musing along to… so hang on…

She says ‘I suppose you want me to come dress it’, I put my big girl panties on and said that no, I could do it by myself thank you. I just wanted to know if I would shower. I would be fine. Now don’t be too energetic today she reminds me…. yes really? I am so sorry Vin Diesal, I must cancel lunch; and Jo from Good Charlotte – that breakfast you promised… I’m sorry I have to decline.

Ok whinge over, I feel better. Seriously though, the District Nurse Units and ladies are divine. What a job they must have. But I have been a good girl for 24 hours, and now I have to do another 24 hours. Its enough to rip your tits off…. ooops I’ve just done that. (apologies to those who do not like black humour).

So Elaine, my fabulous daughter and I were conversing over the weekend, and laughing about what I said to her coming out of the anaesthetic. She started to understand why I was so concerned. I did ask what I had said, you see I have a history of anaesthesia imaginatus hilarium syndrome. When Elaine came to my bedside; and indulge me here…. new hospital; low lights; beautiful young girl staring down caringly at her Mother; with a hint of worry touching her lips. Her equally beautiful Mother flicks open her eyes, smiles (with full make up of course) and says ‘go home and have a shag dear, its great for stress release’. Poor Elaine, there were other women in the room. Next apparently I asked where my slippers were – insinuating they could get stolen. My dear friend Briar had bought me the most amazing slippers I have ever owned and I had it on my mind from the minute I got into hospital not to lose them. Elaine said it was ok, they were by the bed. Then I told her that there was a bottle of Chanel in my top drawer and she could have it because she had been such a good girl. Elaine figured it might be time to leave mother to the depths of sleep. Secretly I am sure she wanted to get out of there before I said anything else outrageous.

This is not uncommon. When Elaine was born I was drugged up to the eyeballs; I saw my doctor at the other end of me stitching away and apparently I said ‘you look like and evil little fucker; you know, an elf… sitting on your toadstool stitching away at a pair of shoes’.  Now where did that come from? As a child I had a fairy tale book, and I had saved it for Elaine, and there was a beautiful colour plate of an elf in a yellow suit, with a big needle, sitting on a toadstool stitching a pair of shoes. I said a lot more. How did I know I said it? Well I had worked at Middlemore prior to Elaine being born so I knew most of the staff; and gossip travels fast. Elaine was born in the morning, and my comments were lunchtime conversation. My Doctor told me afterwards, he had to stop for a few seconds as he was laughing so much.

My next encounter with anaesthesia was having my wisdom teeth out at Taumarunui Hospital. Yes, I have lived in the King Country. My wisdom teeth were not good, and I was not a good patient and hence we decided general anaesthesia was best. At the time the Army medics were doing training and I was asked if they could perform the anaesthesia and as much of the op as they could for practise. So my visions of camoflaged soldiers standing around my bed with leather boots, hulking muscles, rifles and full kit really inflamed my imagination, what I said is not for public consumption. Even I am a little red at that one.

So now Elaine knows why I ask what I have said. I have to be careful what I am thinking about before I go under anaesthetic.

Everyone has been wonderful. I have Masterchef quality meals in my freezer, and I have had so many good vibes, wishes and energies sent that I am sure this is why things are going so well at this point. I cannot overdo it – nobody will let me. I have to say that the angel amongst angels has been Elaine. She has been right by my side; and for all she hid my can opener – but I figured it out; I have a jar with cutlery and can opener. Looked at the jar, no can opener; oh but there is shiny cutlery in the jar, so knowing Elaine’s Virgo ways I looked in the cupboard and there was another jar with old cutlery and a not shiny can opener. Oh and I couldn’t find the toaster for a couple of days. And the bathroom is very efficient. I usually arrange my ducks to talk to each other; just so they don’t get bored. At present they are all in a glass bowl, on top of my soap collection, and that is where they are staying. There is no time for duck arranging that is for when Ally comes to clean.

I love you Elaine; if I do nothing else in my life except sit on the couch eat chips and dip; stuff chocolate wrappers down the back (especially caramello ones which have enough ‘sticky’ to attract some fluff); if I do nothing else but watch the world pass by I have done one fantastic thing – I gave birth to you. Life purpose job done.

Those of you out there who are Mothers of Daughters; if your daughters become half the woman my daughter has become then the world is in very good hands.

Where are my slippers?

Blessings

Jackie

Monday Muse 12th May 2014

Posted by jackiepope on May 12, 2014

Good morning darlinks, darers, devils and dervish’s… whirling ones at that

Here I am. Did you miss me? You can thank intepid daughter for not allowing her Mother to slack off.

What to talk about today… well I have two things – what it’s like to be me; and filters….not swimming pool filters; but our own filters that life gives to us.

So let’s start with me, and why not, I am important. Just as every one of you is important in your own life and those that care about you.

I often get asked ‘what is it like to be you, to be a clairvoyant?’ Do you see everyone’s ‘spiritual stuff’ when you walk in a room; can you see what we are thinking? Can you read me right now? It must be fabulous to do what you do? Can I do what you do? and all the rest of the questions that get asked.

so… what is it like to be clairvoyant? For me it is like you being a sales rep, a manager, a personal trainer, a social worker. I have a passion, I have trained in it, I update/upgrade and keep up with the times and it is the most wonderful job in the world for me. It is a job. But I don’t work a single day. If you love what you do it is not work. So that is what it is like for me. It’s not work, it is an adventure, it is interesting but it does take time and effort to keep abreast of the times; to keep it fresh for you the clients; to make sure that you get what you need for this modern day and age. That is the challenge for me, keeping things ever evolving, ever changing so you the client get the best of everything that I do, delivered in a way that fits in with your life. Hence my strong advocacy for technology. TechnoDruid.

so.. what is it lie to be clairvoyant? I don’t know. I haven’t been anything else. It is like asking a man what its like to be a man. He has nothing to compare it with, he is ‘a man’. So I am a clairvoyant. For me it was discovered I was one before I knew I was one; and then trained to be a good one (well I hope I am good at it). So I cannot tell you what it is like. I can tell you some of my experiences, and how people react to it, and some of the highs and lows. It is the same as anyone’s life. I have good days in my life and shite days. The fact that I deal with a different world, and different realms makes no difference. I think the worst thing about being clairvoyant is the social aspect. When you go out and you are introduced as ‘my friend the clairvoyant’ and everyone asks you to read them – then and there. It is like being a hairdresser or doctor – when introduced everyone wants to talk about their colour or their colon. Fortunately my good friends know not to introduce me as the clairvoyant. But there have been times where it has been hurtful. When I was in Yeppoon and making new friends, a woman whom I thought was thoughtful invited me to dinner with a group of her friends to introduce me. The first thing she said as we sat down was – this is Jackie, she is a clairvoyant. You can imagine what the rest of the evening was like; I was the entertainment. I was her ‘pet’. Nobody wanted to know who I was. Anyway that is the worst.

The best? well the best is just every day stuff. No.. the best is teaching someone how to read and seeing the penny drop as they ‘get it’, that wonderful moment of ‘OMG I can read’ – those moments are the best, and those moments I treasure. And I treasure the moments people come back and say – it happened, it worked, thanks to you I didn’t do this, but I did do that.. etc etc

So how do filters come into this? As a reader I must read without judgement and without filters. Filters are those things that life experience builds up in us and that we are sensitive to. I tell the people I teach that you have to step out of who you are and what you believe in to be a reader. For instance if you are against infidelity in marriage and someone comes for a reading and is cheating – your first instinct is to say no – you must not do that… as a reader you cannot say that – you have to look at what the cards are saying in the purest sense – and that might well be that this person is justified, or needs to be in that situation. For all you want to read through your filter of ‘no cheating in marriage’ you have to read what is there for that person. As readers we cannot layer our own beliefs, philosophies and morals onto other people.

I have some unusual clients, and I am able to read for them successfully; they have very different spiritual pathways that I cannot begin to understand, imagine or be part of. But I can read for them, because when I read I put all of those filters aside, deliberately. Sometimes I have to pause during a reading and take a deep breath, and let a filter go, then continue. In particular was a person who believed they were a particular entity; I did not show surprise fortunately; but I my mind did go to a very judgemental place. I took a deep breath, removed the filter and read for that person. It was a successful reading, they got what they needed to hear.

Being trained to remove my filters; and I was trained to do it. Right at the beginning of my reading career, it was drummed into use that we as humans and clairvoyants especially have no right to judge people through our own filters. Having been on the receiving end of people judging me through their own life experiences I know how upsetting and hurtful it can be. For someone to decide that because you do not live by their rules, standards or philosophy that you live a life that is wrong, or live a life that is of less value than theirs.

As a Druid following a very different, ancient philosophy I come across this on the receiving end more often than most perhaps. People look at me through their filters of morality. I have the morals of an alley cat, however in our belief system women may do as they please with their mind, body and soul, as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone, and when you do go into a relationship you are loyal and do not cheat whilst that relationship is in place. Until then, well if the pizza man comes knocking, I am not going to say know. This has shocked some people, that I can enjoy that sexual freedom. It does not mean I am at it like a rabbit every day with whomever comes along; it does mean I am free to take pleasure when and where I choose. You would be surprised at how many people look at me through their moral, sometimes christian filters and see me as a lesser person than themselves. They put themselves on the moral high ground; I don’t just them. They can have their morals, their codes of conduct, I would never dare to criticize, but they think they have the right to criticize me.

As a Druid I am open to many different pathways, I will go off and explore all sorts of things. Some of my adventures have been less than successful; and some have been sublimely ridiculous, and some have taken me into the most amazing realms, and given me wisdom and knowledge that I would never have been able to experience had I not gone on that journey. So people judge that I look to different things. They judge me through their own filters of fear, the fear of doing something wrong, making a mistake. I dare to make mistakes, and I dare to do something wrong. I know that if any pathway is detrimental that I have the strength and resolve to withdraw. I know when the time is right to stop what I am doing and put that journey aside.

Do you judge people through your own filters? One common one is how people bring up their children. We look at them and think ‘I would not do that’ but that is your filter  and if  you are judging (and let’s face it we all do it) how someone brings up their children you do it through the filters of how you bring up your children, how you were bought up and how you see others bring up their children. That parent you are judging may have a child with very different needs, they may have a different lifestyle, belief system and a different parenting style. That person is no less valid a parent.

Do you judge people by weight? I get that a lot. I realise that people judge my weight sometimes because of the filter of their own fears of not being accepted, of not being the standard beauty. They say they worry for you, and you should lose weight, and if you lose weight you are more attractive etc etc; the filter of dressing well. I dress very differently at times, and not always as a 60 year old bog standard NZ woman should dress. And people comment on it; and I realize their filter is that they are fearful of being judged on their dress. They don’t dare to be themselves, to be different, to embrace their own style. Don’t judge how someone looks, or how much they weigh. The person you are judging probably does not care about their weight, or they are happy with themselves; and the black tights and purple embroidered top is an expression of her power and personality. If you judge her what is your filter? What is your fear. What you see in her is what you fear most for yourself. Not always but mostly.

Do you judge money and possessions? Someone has not got what you have got; are they a lesser person in your eyes? He or she may be in circumstances beyond their control. What is it to you? You look and say – but they could work harder, why don’t they have this, or why don’t they do that? It is because they have different life circumstances and may not have the choices you have; or may not even want to choose what you have chosen.

Can you go through a week without filters? Accept each person and their way of being for exactly that – their way of being. Can you be like a tarot card reader and look beyond your filters. Most of you can, and most of you already do. I know this, because I know most of you have learned that wisdom. But it does not hurt to focus on it and renew our way of being in the world. We can sometimes slip into being judgemental.

The thing is we all judge; we all measure and we all criticize but the best thing we can do is keep our mouths shut. We may not like how someone lives, and we may not be able to remove those filters, but we do not have to voice our opinions. That to me is the most important thing; I don’t care what people think of me in the privacy of their own mind, but do not make it public, do not deign to judge me with words. You can keep it to yourself.

What did our Mother’s tell us? If you cannot say anything nice, then don’t say anything it all.

And if you are judging someone…. ask yourself why you feel so strongly, what is the filter that is causing you to look at this person, in this way? Use the filter to strengthen your own person; your own soul and your own way of being.

Blessings

Alley Cat Druid….