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Monday Muse September 15 2014

Posted by jackiepope on September 15, 2014

MONDAY MUSE

Good morning drifters, sifters, dreamers and doers

Yes it is Monday, and this is a Monday Muse… shock horror. I am having a good day. Well it’s been a couple of good days – the cycle is quite reliable.
I have some Wyrdsister Housekeeping to talk about first, and in fact that will lead into my muse; I have had this muse in my head since a conversation with a friend on Saturday morning… we will get to that.

Housekeeping: I made the decision a few weeks ago to stop doing personal readings; I have put that message on my website, and on my voicemail. There are a number of reasons for this.

1.    At present my life is quite unpredictable, and in as much as I feel good some days and think I can do it; within an hour or two that can change. It is not fair on my clients who are busy and have time constraints for me to book them in; then have to cancel out. It happened just once too often one week. And I realised the Goddess was sending a message. I cannot plan ahead. I don’t want to waste my client’s valuable time and energy.  I can do skype, and I can do email or recorded readings. Which are just as good. Many people like the email and recorded options because they can keep them.

2.    The second reason is I cannot focus on people in my space for more than an hour or so. You will notice as we get to the 45 minute mark my eyes glaze over, and I will repeat a conversation and suddenly look at you as if you have just arrived from out of space. It is really weird, and quite disconcerting for me and you! So doing an hour or even half hour reading with someone in person is quite intense. I find I take hours to recover from the briefest of personal readings. Again email, skype and recorded readings seem to remove me from that intensity. Friends now know if you come visit me I will be honest and tell you when my attention is wandering…

3.    A third (but not the final reason – there are others but these are the most important) is my immune system. So far I have avoided the plague, bronchial flu, chicken pox (yes someone came with her child to visit – and at the door said – Oh xxx has chicken pox, Im sure you have had it………………. ummmmmmmmmmmmmm NO, I have not had chicken pox). Exit stage left, fast. (and no she is not on facebook and would not be offended, she realised afterwards her folly). I have 9 weeks to go, and I am hoping I can get through it without anything awful. So if you have sniffles, flu, swine flu, the pox, please stay away. I adore you all, I just don’t want your add ons. And that is another reason for not doing personal readings.

I will be reading full time again by December. I am going to name December 1st as THE DAY. Ready for 2015 readings. I am going to start a waiting list, if you want to go on it… I will write something about that later in the week.

Ok housekeeping done…. Now that leads me to the muse. Which is to ask you the question:

What would be the hardest thing in your life to give up?

(and NO – you cannot say husband or children – that is a given).

The reason I ask is because of the conversation on Saturday. I had to have a blood test early in the morning and I had it in my head I wanted coffee on the top of Mt Eden afterwards. I could not drive that morning and said friend picked me up, deposited me at the blood testing station and said blood was drawn. I came out feeling a little tired and ‘blue’ – not major blue; just post blood letting blues. I said I did not want to go to Mt Eden, take me home. He started the car, and I though ‘dammit no’, I said to let’s go get coffee – he pointed out I did not have to do anything but sit in the car – excellent, push through, coffee and Mt Eden.

The drive to the top in the misty morning was gorgeous; damp plants and pathways, mists revealing little pockets of light. It was blissful. Almond croissant and hot chocolate (I am on one coffee a day ration). What a treat. I so appreciated being out. The conversation turned to that very thing. I think it came about when I said that this is what I found the most difficult thing to cope with – loss of independence. The loss of the freedom to get in my car and go and do what I want, when I want and how I want. My friend said surely the whole mission of my operation, losing my hair was harder to get used to.

When I thought about it. No. I said in another thread when someone said that she could handle all the big stuff, but one small thing set her off crying that I could lose a breast (and I have Doris now, who is a very nice substitute), and I could deal losing my hair; but not having the freedom to get in the car and drive was hard. But it is not even about driving. It is that I have to think carefully because if I am in a shop I can get dizzy, overcome by a smell, by someone jostling me, by an assistant who is too slow (because I just want to get out, nothing to do with her).

A friend took me out the other day – a huge day; we went to Spotlight for wool, the supermarket for groceries and to lunch. I managed it all. But at the supermarket I had to get outside and let her finish up. At the pub for lunch we were outside which was great, the minute I walked inside to pay – it was overwhelming. There is obviously a pattern to do with energies, and being ‘inside’ where people are. I’m not going to explore it too deeply; I have to accept for now there are things I cannot do.
I know this will pass.

I know that in 9 weeks I can start the journey to normality but in the meantime this is truly a journey in understanding what the loss of independence means. It is something I have taken for granted all my life, and I vow I will never take it for granted again.

So think…. and tell me what would be the hardest thing to give up? No perhaps the question is – what is it that you take for granted the most? and that if you lost it what that would mean?