Archive for June, 2015

Monday Muse 29th June 2015

MOndAY MUSE

Good morning friends, family, clients, and those who cannot make up their mind

I am back from Taupo. As you can see from the photos on facebook it was spectacular, and cold. If you were to give me a performance review as a housesitter I would say I failed miserably on chickens – two got out and were rescued by neighbours; I failed rubbish day – forgot to put rubbish out – they don’t have wheelie bins! I achieved Firelighting, great fire every day. I also did well on Cat care, they were all fed, stroked and talked to; although I have issues with the Main Coon who stole hamburger off my plate when I wasn’t looking – and he had been fed! Puppy care I aced. Well I think so. The point is everything is still alive and relatively in one piece.
Did I achieve what I set out to do? Yes. I read all your messages and feedback and have a plan! Well several plans over the next few months.

One thing I did note – the bracelets. There was a strong message to make crystal bracelets with all the basics – rose quartz, onyx etc. So I have designed a range of bracelets to come out for Spring Equinox (September). I will make them all and put them all up rather than one at a time. So there will be 12 bracelets of assorted crystals.

The other project – The Wyrd Box – is ready for me to put together a sample, I am just working on the diary/instructions aspect of it, and that will be launched in October ready for delivery for first box December 1st. This box will have all you need for three months, a bit like a spiritual workshop in a box. The difference with my box is that EVERYTHING you need will be in it. Every candle, herb, crystal; instructions, diary sheets, fun stuff. And you won’t have to go and source anything at all – it will be there, whenever you are ready.

I came home and shifted the house around. I realized I needed it to be more comfy and homely for me. As much as I love you all, I did realize that the house was not quite ‘me’. Well not the ‘me’ that is now, so I have made some changes. You will no longer sit at the dining table – it will be on the couch! I have my computer in the room and the Dresser Altar in the hallway. Photos attached. It is far more personable.

There will be seasonal reading specials at Spring, Summer, Winter and Autumn equinoxes, so look out for those. And something at Full Moon – small but interesting.

There will be Monday Muse as usual; Tarot Tuesday as usual; Wednesday Window – bring something new to the table to explore; Thursday Thought – an affirmation or something deeply moving or simply fun; Frisky Friday – goddess knows what! So that will all be on Facebook and the website of course.

So now I just have to get down to it. I am thinking of resurrecting the Wyrdsisters Mobile App, I had just started it when I got sick, and so could not maintain it, and it was quite expensive each month, but now with all this stuff going on, I think it might be rather fab for you all to be able to have the app on your phone and click on through – what do you think?

Good to be back.

Love you all long time

Jackie20150629_084843 20150627_153550 20150629_084806

Monday Muse 15th June 2015

Monday Muse

Good morning – it’s long, rambling and bloody boring. I just cannot help myself sometimes.

I am often asked ‘what is it like to be a Druid?’, which is difficult to answer because I don’t really know what it is like to not be one; and the other question that has been asked lately is ‘what is it like to lose your breast?’. And that one I can answer. Then someone comes along and asks ‘What is it like to be a Druid, where your power is the Goddess and the feminine, and lose your breast, the symbol of that power?’. I have also been point blankly asked if I feel less of a female, and how has this affected my sexuality, my confidence and my perception of what life will be like in the future. One dear soul said she felt very sorry for me, because no man wants someone without a breast. I was shocked, not because of what she said, but the fact she was stupid enough to believe it, and had the bad manners to inflict her stupidity on me.

So let us go through this… as you can tell this might be a rather pithy, upsetting Monday Muse for some of you, it might be a bit graphic, and it might tell you more about me than you care to know!

So I have done a photo essay of what it is like to be a Druid for a Day. It is not a common day, but then no one day is common for me. Each day is deliciously different. The photographs are bad, because I don’t know how to work my ipad photothingy properly.

A day in my life could be – ‘to hell with the world, I am beading all day’. It could be up at 7 am to skype a client in Ireland, personal readings in the morning, email readings, checking up on facebook, writing Monday Muse on Monday, and Tuesday Tarot on Tuesday. Answer emails from people wanting appointments, wanting to know cost of appointments and can I please find their cat, wallet or knickers (this is true, a girl asked if I could tell her where she left her knickers because she was scared she left them in her lover’s bed – he is married, and it is the bed he shares with his wife). There layouts to explore and create, tarot decks to look at, keeping my knowledge base strong. Keeping up with technology and seeing where I can use it best to keep up with you all – and I think Youtube might be my next adventure on the internet although I am still looking at the radio show, but life has been a bit busy just lately, so that is on the shelf.

And I work from home, people seem to think that is rather fabulous. Yes it is, but I have a working day just like any of you. In fact probably longer. Ever since I started the business I have found myself working into the night. I tend to get drawn into something, and I have to take it through to the end before I go to bed – be that an article to read, or if I am working on the website. Yes, I update the website, I check it every day, as I check Facebook. So my day starts at 9am at my desk – that is what I aim for and rarely am I late to work (not even when I was doing chemo). I work until 12 and have lunch and then work until about 2.30 – since the C I have been having a nap in the afternoon – but don’t seem to need it so much these days. I then do something creative if I can, or finish up email readings, etc etc. I put lipstick on every day. If I don’t have lipstick on, look out, something is seriously wrong in my world…

So what is it like to lose my breast? And yes I know I said I was putting the big C behind me, and it is. But this question is asked so often I thought I would do a press release and then maybe that will stem the flow. Yes, I know people are being thoughtful and kind when they ask, and I appreciate that totally and utterly. I would never have gotten through this past 12 months without your fabulous support, each and every one of you. I think what most people really mean is what is it like to live without it… well the only really annoying thing is that I used to sleep on my right side, and now that is uncomfortable, but so is the left side. I don’t seem to be able to just lie on my side and sleep. That is annoying. I’ve tried stuffing pillows under my chest, everything… I am sure it will work out. Dresses and clothes don’t hang right, and although they give you a silicone prosthesis (mine is called Doris) it is not comfortable. It is bloody cold in winter, and now I have lost weight my fake boob is bigger than my other boob. I think though I am at the stage that if my clothes looking lopsided is my biggest worry, then life is pretty good. I do get phantom boob feelings, yes… that is odd. You know when your nipples get cold in the morning well I still feel both of them, even though one is not there.

So let’s get to the femininity thing – the whole question of being in a strong Goddess philosophy actually has been wonderful. It has sustained me and I feel no different having a breast or not having a breast when it comes to the spirituality, power and all that kind of stuff.

On a physical/emotional level do I feel less of a woman? No. Am I worried that a man will not want me or be attracted to me? No. In fact I feel in an odd way that having this altered body is a blessing in disguise. I have so much to do at the moment. I am recovering not only from the whole physical side but the financial side. I am too busy re-establishing my income and recovering financially. As some of you have read, I have had the odd romantic encounter, and it seems having a Tardis in my bedroom is far more scary for men than having one breast. I wonder if we place too much emphasis of having a partner in our lives? Spending all that time searching, going through the whole dating, being together, living with, and of course it is not just the man you are with it is his family, and all his baggage. And well quite honestly that scares me more than wondering how he will handle (pardon the pun) one breast? And also the fact that I have enough trouble looking after myself, and keeping myself out of mischief without having to consider someone else in my life! It just seems for me, right now, there are so many interesting things to do – I am right back into my conspiracy theory stuff – I love reading it all – and having chemo gave that gift back to me, because I lay in bed browsing the net with the wonderful excuse I was too damned tired to do anything! I have beads to design, and work to do…. If a man is concerned about how my body looks then of course he is not worth it. Interestingly one male acquaintance has said it would be a turn off for him if a woman he was with lost a breast (please note he is single at present… I wonder why?) and was very staunch about it. So I pointed out that his body was not perfect, and what about the hernia popping out of his chest (it is quite visible through the shirt where the buttons are hanging onto the button holes straining to stay done up), and a flat arse, oh and his ears would be a huge turn off (they are cauliflowers). He was not amused with what I had to say, and wandered off muttering something about feminazis… really mate?

The only thing that has affected my femininity is my hair. Now yes, that has been a very big issue for me. In fact I would go as far as to say that losing my hair was worse than losing my breast. There, I’ve said it in public… and it is the truth. I feel totally unfeminine with short hair. I am almost at the point that I can accept grey hair… because I know I can put wild colours through it… but oh, I wish it would grow longer, and straight. I have short, curly hair – I don’t feel feminine looking in the mirror. So there you go. If they can make it so you don’t lose your hair during chemo then I would be quite happy. I am sure they should be able to do this, they can put men on the moon, and drones in the sky – and they can’t adjust the mix so we don’t lose our hair? I don’t believe it for an instant.

There you go. I am a one breasted, gray short haired female druid. Always been a female, always will be; always been a druid, always will be. I can grow and colour my hair – so that is fixable. I forget I have only one breast. It is quite normal to put my knitted knocker into my bra (so much warmer than Doris), pat it into place, and off I go.

I really don’t understand all of the hoopla around losing a breast, and the cult of the pink ribbon that has grown up around it. I am not saying it is not a good cause, it is; but it seems to me losing a breast or two stays with some women, it becomes their battle cry, and it becomes something that defines them. And that is perfectly valid – absolutely. But for me there are so many other women with ailments and conditions just as devastating, if not more so. I met women in hospital who made me feel fortunate that I was just losing a breast! For some of them their lives were going to affected forever, colostomy bags, tubes, infertility, scarring… the list goes on. For me every woman should have support no matter the diagnosis, now that would be a cause worth being a part of.

Now its the finale of Game of Thrones today, I need icecream, chips, dip and supplies. I have heard that eating chips and dip once a week can help you regrow a breast… I shall get on to exploring that theory right away.

Monday Muse 1st June 2015

MONDAY MUSE 1st June 2015

Good morning

I did not have the best night’s sleep. Something that is left over from the whole C saga, and is slowly fixing itself. I was one of those people who could sleep at the drop of a hat; I still can, but every now and then, I have ‘one of those nights’.
So what does a Druid do when she has one of those nights? Well a Druid goes in search of a little magic… I think of magical moments in my life

Finding a big, brown furry caterpillar when I was 4 years old, and the gentleman telling me it was a fairy kitten, and it would grow into a magical cat.

A campfire on Muriwai Beach 1970ish. Singing the Beatles, eating cold baked beans and hard, charred potatoes. Surfing at sunset and at sunrise.

My first pay packet $28.00. What $28.00 could buy… a week’s bus travel from Howick to the City; 4 yards of material, zip and cotton from Barker & Pollocks; make up from Rendalls; and having ‘comb up’ at His Majesty’s Arcade comb up bar.

Looking at my new born daughter’s blue eyes.

Watching a shower of falling stars as I was anchored over the Tongan Trench.

Seeing my daughter with a rare Turtle, and the National Geographic photographer telling her to remember the moment because one day in her lifetime there would be no turtles. (I didn’t say magic was not sad at times).

A morning in Nimbin, NSW.

A sunset drive from Yeppoon to Emerald.

Standing on Wreck Point, Yeppoon with a storm howling around me.

My first torch glass lesson.

Hearing the Technician whisper that the scans are clear, so I didn’t have to wait anxiously wondering, 2014.

Full Moon over Muriwai, from the comfort of a lavish house set up on a cliff, with a gourmet dinner, wine and music. 2013.

And then a Druid sets to dreaming, what magical moments are to come? I know there will be many. I have decided that when I am in Taupo for a week I shall set that time aside as dreaming time. I will finalise my fabulous Wyrdsister Projects and announce them to you with ceremony and grandeur (or in my Monday Muse), I will think about things I want to do, and I will simply dream some days, and remember magical moments on others. It will be my time of dreaming. Something that we have lost touch with. To have those times to engage in magic, to consciously dream and let thoughts go where they will. The Lake is a magical place, I wonder if the Lady of the Lake will be at home? I truly dream it will be so…