There you can see already where I am heading………….. let’s get straight into it… THE HUG!
Once upon a time long ago, the hug was something your aunt or grandma gave you at Christmas. Bringing you close into a pinny wrapped amble bosom, where you could not breath. It smelled of furniture wax (the kind that came in a tin), flour and a mild undertone of lavender or Lily of the Valley. The hug was something that came from the whiskey soaked uncle who asked on your 12th birthday ‘Don’t you want to hug your old uncle any more’… that would be a no. We have all endured hugs from those we should not have had to hug. For many reasons, both serious and not so serious.
I remember some of those hugs from my childhood, and now when someone encourages their child to ‘Give Jackie a Hug’… I look them in the eye and say “you d on’t have to, we can high 5”. I would hate a child in 20 years time writing about having to hug that odd woman Jackie that mum used to visit; she smelled of Chanel and chocolate, and there was the faintest whisp of champagne on her breath; the the velvet jacket would smother me……….. actually that does not sound half bad!
As you might gather – I am not a hugger. I do try to be enthusiastic when someone hugs me… no that’s a lie, I struggle. There are some people I can hug, they know who they are. I can go in for the full on, where have you been, so good to see you double wrap hug. That is a hug! But hugs… like the word ‘love’ have been over used.
We hug all the time. There are variations of ‘the hug’.
1. The Ponsonby Hug – a little like the Ponsonby air kiss on each cheek not touching. The Ponsonby hug is where you put your arms around, but do not touch the body, you gush about how good it is to see you darlink (actually lying through your teeth, you cannot wait to get away).
2. The Hug Voucher – Those horrid little coupons saying “This entitles you to one hug”. Really? Is your hug equal to a box of Roses choccies? A bottle of champers? a $1 scratch ticket? Hug vouchers are like gift vouchers that lie in the drawer and not used except hug vouchers don’t have an expiry date. Which they should! Ohhh look what’s in the drawer here – a hug voucher from Emmaline, I really must redeem it… oh dear its expired (sigh of relief).
3. The Spiritual Hello I am here Hug – ok this is tongue in cheek considering the work I do, and most clients I am happy to hug. But there is that spiritual bunny who arrives and wants a hug asap she gets in the door. There is a big sigh… and a plea for a hug – the big eyes, the hopeful look. You have to do it, how can you refuse? It is a Ponsonby Hug with light contact.
4. The Spiritual Exit Hug – again tongue in cheek, and reiterating most of you I adore to hug – because I have gotten to know you. This is a more intense hug, with quite a lot of emotion, and I do appreciate that I have just given you the best reading ever (hahahaha the only time I can blow my own trumpet with alacrity) and you are happy and…. want a hug. This is a hug that has its own energy depending on the client – its like getting your eyebrows waxed – you dread going in to do it – but you like the results.
5. The Male Professional Hug – men hate it. You know they all do it now. You see them in meetings doing the arm on the shoulder pulling towards each other while shaking hands. They don’t want to do it – you can see they don’t want to do it! Yet they do it! What happened to just good old shaking hands. Why this false energy of affection – you are just going into a meeting to tear each other to shreds, this is combat… come on people, the christians did not pat the lions before they went into the arena.
6. The Female Professional Hug – women love it. This is a weapon. This where women suss out other women’s weaknesses. Does she back off as I go in for the ‘Ponsonby Hug’; or does she come forward with the Male Professional hug? That shows confidence and challenge. Whilst engaged in the hug women can detect a lot – perfume status (chanel or Brittany Spears – says a lot about a woman!); the cloth of her clothes – is that Zambezi or Farmers?). This could be a whole other Monday |Muse…
7. The Friend Hug – your friends can hug you in all sorts of ways, shapes and forms because… well they are your mates…
The list goes on. I just feel the hug should be more important. Touch is such a sensitive sense… I feel it should be reserved for when one gets to know someone better. It is allowing someone into your personal space (Remember the Movie with Patrick Swazey? – Your Dance space, my Dance space? Dirty Dancing).
And remember there are some of us that are just not huggers, most of us belong to the ‘only children tribe’ who don’t share chocolate or their favourite toys and who were mauled by aunties and other powdered women, suffocated by tweet and bri nylon so our brains have been deprived of oxygen and our social area of the brain is damaged for eternity.
I do love you all, I just cannot hug… its not in my DNA…
But if you get a hug out of me…. frame it! There are very few where that comes from.
Please take this Muse in spirit it was intended………………….